– I like big butts and I cannot blank!
– Let’s talk about that. ♪ (theme music) ♪ – Good. Mythical. Morning!
– Butts. You sit on ’em, you poop with ’em, and sometimes you stare at ’em and you get caught, and you gotta make up an excuse, like, ‘Oh no, I was just trying to translate the Latin on her lower back tattoo.’ (sucking air in) But how much do you know about your butt? (growling) It’s time to play: (Lizzie and Daniela) ♪ I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly cause my blanks are too bootylicious for ya babe ♪ (laughing) – Alright. – Wow.
– Here we go. – Woah. – I didn’t know that song.
– That didn’t sound like you. – It wasn’t me. Okay, there’s blanks. For every blank that stanks, you get spanked with the spank plank. – Patent-pending!
(Rhett) – Get it. I get spanked for the blanks. – With… That you miss, with the blank… splank plank.
– Yeah. Mhm. – And for every one you get right, I get spanked-
– You get spanked with the plank. – with the plank spank. Spank plank. That’s it. Spank plank! – And it’s all about butts.
– All about butts, I cannot lie! A study by the University of Oxford concluded that women with bigger butts are blank. – Always studying the important stuff, in Oxford.
– Yeah they are. – Tsk. That might take a scientific route. More likely to survive a fall. – Psh. (Link laughs, crew laughs off camera)
– You know? – Women with bigger butts are more likely to survive a fall. Final answer? – No. Nonono. More likely to succeed on the instagram! The butt is really… taking a… a resurgence. – Final answer?
– I think it’s healthier. I think there’s some weird thing about the bigger butt, like, you’re… you’re… you’re just healthier. You’re protected in some way. Not from falling but just like, your heart or something. – Final answer? – Yeah.
(both) Healthier. – No, it’s ‘smarter’! (laughs)
(wrong buzzer sound) – In a study, in their study, women with larger badonkadonks performed better on cognitive tests, citing an exess of omega-3 fats which have been proven to catalyze brain development. – Brain butt, huh?
– Brain butt. Why didn’t the study incude men? Because it’s sexist!
(crew laughs off camera) – Also we already know that all men are stupid! Next question. – Oh that’s the way you… mm. I see what you did there.
– Saved it. – Yeah. You saved it.
– The Australian Fitzroy River turtle can choose to blank out of its butt (laughing) if the mood strikes it.
– Choose to blank… (both) – Out of its butt.
– If the mood strikes it. – The first thing that comes to mind is ‘pee out of its butt’.
– But that doesn’t seem like… (crew laughs off camera)
– …Anatomically correct! – …This… it just seems like… I mean why wouldn’t you just do that all the time! A bird! – Well you’re on the right- I will say you’re on the right track with… uhh… defying anatomy. – …Can choose to… deliver a baby turtle out of its butt.
– That’s what you thought as a… gradeschooler maybe! (crew laughs off camera)
– The… An… Reptiles and amphibians can be strange, – and they do weird stuff!
– Ok, is that your final answer? – Like there’s frogs that put babies- have babies come outta the mouth? – Oh, okay.
– I think if the mood strikes it, this turtle will deliver – a baby out of its butthole.
(crew laughs off camera) – That’s what I believe! And I’m going with it. I think I’m right. – No, Rhett. (wrong buzzer sound) You got… you get another spank, ’cause the answer is ‘breathe’. They can breathe out of their butt. They can get up to 70% of the… their oxygen through… – Its clo- clo- I can’t say this…
– Cloaca? – Cloacal bursae.
– Because they pee out of that too! – Oh-oh.
– That- that’s… We-we-we… we studied that, – the cloaca thing…
– Cloacal bursae. – Yeah, it bursae out of it.
(crew laughs off camera) – Hmm. Pretty nasty.
– I breathe out- I breathe outta my butt sometimes. – It’d be a cool superpower. Wouldn’t it!
– I usually don’t brag about it though! – I don’t know how it…
– I hope nobody smells it! – You breathe… breathe in. You don’t breathe out. When you breathe in through your butt, that’s what… – You just said, ‘to blank out of its butt’, that’s what the blank said. (fart sound) That’s a… That’s out. – Yeah that’s true. Alright.
– If it said ‘with its butt’, I would’ve gotten it right. – Fine, I’ll… Alright, we’ll both… we’ll both get spanked for that one. (ding sound) – Oh we’ll half-spank each on that one.
– Half-spank each for that one. Between 2014 and 2015 (those are years) butt blanks increased by 36%. That’s a lot. That’s a big increase, from year to year. Of something. What is it? – 36% in one year, very recently?!
– Yeah, very recently! Somethin’ butt blanks! – Maybe butt sightings? Like, I don’t understand, are people showin’ the tail more? No, that couldn’t happen in 2014-2015.
– Well, people got those… this more butt in 2014. – Is it possible that people’s butts got that much bigger because of the whole… squat thing that happens on instagram? People’s butts got bigger by 36% on average because of the squat revolution. – That’s what’s happening!
– Butt sizes, is that your answer? – Butt size.
– Hmm. Okay. No, the answer is ‘implants’! (wrong answer buzzer sound)
– Uh- But- Uh- – Okay. Alright.
– Half spank? – Half spank. (ding sound)
So now we each have a full spank again between these last two questions.
– Okay. Alright. Butt augmentation with fat grafting went up 28% and butt lifts were up 36%. – Butt lifts.
– Yeah. Scientists call it- – Like, permanent.
– Yeah. – Not just temporarily, like, reachin’ in and pullin’ up on it.
– No, it… permanent. – It’s… just… Right.
– The… scientists call it ‘The Cardashian effect’. It’s like the butterfly effect, except, whenever Kim says ‘Like’, somebody’s butt increases a little bit. (mouth sound) Gets a little bigger- it’s the butt-erfly effect, get it? – I don’t- I don’t- I don’t believe that.
– Butt-erfly effect? – I believe that you’re making that up.
– (whispering) I did. – I don’t trust your sources.
– I did. Even though it was discovered in 1981, a type of Australian horse-fly was just recently named after blank, – due to its diva behavior and golden bootay.
– Australian horse-fly. – Mhm.
– It’s… Australia… What’s the, uh… – What’s the girl with the big butt from Australia? With the blond hair? (crew member off-camera) – Iggy.
– Iggy. She’s got a big… she’s got a… yeah. – So you think they named a horse-fly after Iggy Azalea?
– Well, she’s Australian, but who’s known for their – diva behavior and a big butt? You got Nicki Minaj…
– Golden booty… – She’s got quite a… derriere. But… did we’re talkin’ about… – You- you do realize you’re thinking out loud.
– We’re talkin’ about… (crew laughs off camera) – We’re talkin’ about actually naming,
– we’re talkin’ about taxonomy here. I don’t think that Iggy or, uh, Nicki have risen to that level, they’re… – Mhm.
– …we’re talkin’, Beyoncè! – (laughing) I get spanked for that one! (ding sound) (laughing) (crew laughs off camera) – Similar to the praying mantis, the Scaptia Plinthina beyonceae also bites off the head of its mate after she catches it out on the town with Becky with the good hair. (crew laughs off camera) – Beyoncè’s booty is not splinthina.
– You just used that term. – Scaptillia Plinthinnia. Plinthina. Whatevs.
(crew laughs off camera) – She’s plinthicka, man.
– Yeah, they should change that part too. – Yeah.
– The word ‘butt’ isn’t just synonymous with the bootay, – it was also an antiquated unit of measurement in the UK. One butt equaled 108 imperial gallons of blank. – I know this. Because I always wondered why a pork butt, which was actually a pork shoulder, was called a pork butt when it was in the ham. And it turns out it was- they would wrap it in a way that was the shape of a barrel, and a barrel is where you put whiskey. Gallons of whiskey. Or alcohol. – Can I go broader, ’cause I don’t know if it’s whiskey, if it’s wine… – Nope, you can’t go broad.
– Oh, so you want me to miss it ’cause – you don’t wanna get spanked. So it’s wine! (laughing)
– You’re right! (ding sound) – Yeaaah!
– Hey, I thought you were gonna stick with whiskey, man! – I got you on that one, brother!
– It turns out buttload is more of an exact term of measurement than I realized.
– Ah. (high-pitched) Hm! See, yup, right! – People start backing up the wine trucks!
– (high-pitched) Yeeeah! – ‘I want a buttload of anything other than wine’ –
doesn’t work! – Uh-uh.
– Manatees use their farts to change their blank. – Hmm. Hmm. Reputation. (both laughing) That’s how they get- that’s how they rise to the top! No. – That is true…
– I wanna say ‘direction’, like a motorboat (laughing) (fart noises) (motorboat sounds)
– You’ve seen Swiss Army Man? – But, uh, I know, I really think the scientific answer here is they use it like some sort of a, airbag, sort of, buoyancy. They use it to change their buoyancy.
– Mhm. – That’s how they- they find their place in the water.
– Final answer? – Final answer.
– You sure? – Buoyancy.
– Hmmm. I’ll bend over for that one. (ding sound) – Yeeah you will! Yeah!
– Ahhh. They ho- – Manatees are smart, man.
– They hold their farts to rise to the surface and release them to sink lower in the water, which is the same technique I use when entering and leaving a party. – Oh!
– Yeah! – I thought you were gonna say ‘entering and leaving a hot tub’ (both laughing) for some reason. – Just a party.
– There’s Link, rising outta the hot tub! – I’m really holding it in when I’m going to a party, I’m like, ‘I hope this is good party, don’t wanna on anybody. – When it’s- by the time I’m leaving, I’m like, ‘Farting on this party!’ – Yeah, don’t turn a party into a farty unless you’re leavin’. – (laughing) Yes! ‘Don’t turn a party into a farty’…
– …’unless you’re leaving’. – Parenthetically. – Yeah.
– Unless you’re exiting. – Yeah yeah yeah yeah. – Leaving. – Yeah.
– Put that on a T-shirt! – Yeah. Do it! – The oldest known blank is about a woman’s fart.
– Aah. How c- they couldn’t know – what the first thought was. (both laughing)
– ‘They’. – How did they- how would you-
– There’s no- – That would be the first thought!
– Yeah yeah yeah. – The first thought is,
– The first thought anyone ever- ever had was- – ‘we should- we should remember this!’ We should- I should remember that! – Oh she farted, now I’m thinking about it!
(laughing) – There’s no way they would know that.
– Somebody smelled a fart and it made people – have a thought for the first time.
– S- it wouldn’t be a song, you wouldn’t sing about a fart, would you?
– We have Our first song that we wrote… – That’s true.
– …was called ‘Fartin’ girl’ – But they wouldn’t know that. (crew laughing off camera) – Uhh, I think…
– We’ll sing it for you later. – I think farts have always been funny, and I think that I’m gonna go with the first ever joke – was about a woman’s fart.
– You sure? – Yeah.
– Tss. Dangit! (ding sound) – Ooh we’re racking up them spanks, Link! Racking up them spanks! – (laughing) Yeah, line ’em up!
(laughing) – The actual Sumerian joke from 1900 BC reads,
– Oh, I’m ready. – Get ready to bust…
– Oh I’m ready! – …your gut laughing at this.
– Yeah, I’m gonna, yeah. I might even fart. – Some- (laughs) I’ll laugh so hard I’ll fart,
that’s a good laugh! – Oh yeah. (crew laughs off camera)
– Something which has never occurred – since time immemorial – a young woman did not fart into her husband’s lap. (both laughing) – Did not fart?
– Did not fart. – That’s the sign that you’re- when you’re in love – when she farts on you. – Uh, yeah, in your lap!
– And- and you don’t mind. – Yeah. She’s in your lap fartin’…
– Yeah. (crew laughing off camera) – you know it’s love.
– You know, oh that’s so cute. – Put that on the back of the T-shirt!
– Let me tell ya. It’s cute for a while… (laughing) (crew laughing off camera)
afte- after 15 years it’s not cute. – And by while we mean, like…
– It’s not cute anymore. – The while, I mean…
– You take- you take that into the other room. – From the moment you hear it till the moment
you smell it, that’s the while. (laughing)
– Alright. Hmm. The 38th President of the United States, Gerald Ford, was famous not only for pardoning Nixon for Watergate, but also for blaming his farts on his blank.
– His young wife who would fart on his lap. – His young Sumerian wife. (laughs) No.
– Why does she gotta be young, you’re makin’ it weird. – Because that’s what it said in the… that’s the joke! Didn’t it say young? Yes it did. – No.
– Yes it did. It did. Um. Uhh. (crew laughs off camera) If it didn’t, then it just made me look real strange. Uhh…
– Also for blaming his farts on his blank, – not his young blank.
– I think it- yeah, I think you- that- you- if you’re smart, you blame the farts on the dog, you blame it on the person, or the thing, the being, – who cannot defend themself; he blamed it on the dog…
– Final answer? – Rule one of the White House. Blame it on the dog. That’s why every president has a dog! – (laughs) Right!
– Yeah! – Final answer?
– Yeah! – Wrong. (wrong answer buzzer sound) It’s his Secret Service agents. Because you know what they say, ‘Something which has never occurred since time immemorial – a president did not fart – in his Secret Service agent’s lap.’
– …his young Secret Service agent’s wife. – (laughing) Lap.
– (high-pitched) What are you saying? – I ain’t- I’m not saying anything, man, I’m just…
– What in the world… – I’m not saying anything!
– Well, thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing, – stay tuned for the spanking!
– That’s right, you know what time it is. – My name is Megan.
– My name’s Lauren. – My name’s Lauren.
– My name’s Ben. – And Ben.
– And we’re in Budapest, Hungary. And it’s time to spin the wheel of mythicality! Woo! Get both volumes of the Will It poster, available at rhettandlink.com/store, look at that, you can frame ’em! – That’d be cool!
– Yeaah, they’re coming in set or separately! – Click through to Good Mythical More where we got a few more facts and we’re both gonna get spanked – with the plank! Alex, get ready.
– ‘In a world where teeth are gummy bears’. – (deep voice) In a world where teeth are gummy bears… – …Nobody eats gummy bears.
– Because… they’re already in your mouth. – That’s the ticket, Ron!
– And you just… (laughing) (crew laughing off camera)
– Starring Ron! [Captioned by Michelle:
GMM Amara Captioning Team]