-Well, guys, there’s so much
going on. Let’s get right to it. It was a very busy weekend of
tweeting for President Trump. [ Laughter ] It looks like he’s taken notice
of Bernie Sanders rising to the first in polls
and tweeted, “Wow! Crazy Bernie Sanders
is surging in the polls. So what does this all mean?
Stay tuned!” [ Laughter ] It’s like he’s hosting
“American Idol.” Yeah, we’re gonna find out
after the break. [ Laughter ] But then, Bernie actually
responded to Trump on Twitter and said,
“It means you’re gonna lose.” [ Cheers and applause ] -Oh, snap. [ Laughter ] -It’s fun seeing two old guys going back and forth
at each other. [ Laughter ] It’s like a presidential version
of “The Kominsky Method.” Then Michael Bloomberg
bought Twitter and shut down
both of their accounts. I thought that was interesting. It’s that easy. He bought it.
He shut it down. [ Applause ] Trump also sent several tweets
meant for Iranians in Farsi beginning with this —
check this out. The translation is, “To the
brave, long-suffering people of Iran: I’ve stood with you since the beginning of my
presidency. We are following your protests
closely and are inspired
by your courage.” Americans are like, “Wait, how
are Trump’s tweets in Farsi more coherent than in English?” [ Laughter and applause ] -Come on.
-How is that possible? [ Applause ]
Wow! Bravo. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Why don’t we get any of that? -But then another tweet everyone
was talking about came from the White House’s official
Twitter account yesterday. Did you see this? It confused people because
they tweeted a photograph of the White House
with the caption, “First snow of the year.” [ Laughter ] Not only was it not snowing, it was actually 70 degrees
this weekend. [ Laughter ] But to show support,
every Republican in Congress went outside in a snowsuit and
fake-shoveled their driveway. They’re like, “It’s a blizzard
out here, Mr. President.” [ Laughter ] Well, this is exciting. The Oscar nominations
were announced today, and leading the way with
11 nominations was “Joker.” [ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah. That’s right. It got the nod
for Best Picture, Best Actor, and best reason not to get
a clown for your kid’s birthday. “We’re getting a magician.” Along with “Joker,” the Best
Picture category includes movies like “1917”
and “Marriage Story,” which is why next year
some studio will try to get nominated by making a movie called
“World War I: Clown Divorce.” [ Laughter and applause ] But it looks like it’s gonna be
a tough race for Best Picture between “Joker,” “The Irishman” and “Once Upon a Time
in Hollywood.” While the award for worst
picture is going to whoever posted the snowy picture
at the White House. [ Laughter ] And this surprised
a lot of people, though. “Frozen II” didn’t get nominated
for Best Animated Feature. [ Audience boos ] -What? -The producer was like, “If one more person texts me,
‘Let it go,’ I am gonna snap.” [ Laughter ] “I’m gonna flip out!”
[ Applause ] Let it go, dude. -Come on, dude. -As usual there’s
a lot of controversy about the nominations. First of all,
none of the nominations for Best Director are women. [ Audience boos ]
Yeah. You know there is a problem
when female directors got the same number of
nominations as “Cats.” -Oh.
[ Laughter ] Boink. Meow. -Meow is right. And this year, 18 of the 20
acting nominees are white. Yep. The nominees are so white, this year’s Oscars are being
held at Pottery Barn. -Really?
[ Laughter ] -That’s right. The Oscars are going to be three
hours of white people on stage, or as it’s also known,
the Democratic debates. [ Laughter and applause ] In other award show news, next month the Grammys will have
a tribute special for Prince. That marks the first —
[ Cheers and applause ] That marks the first time
in a few days that a prince has gotten
any love from Grammy. [ Audience ohs ] -Wow. [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] -For your Emmy consideration. Get this — Gwyneth Paltrow is
selling a candle called, “This candle smells like my –” [ Audience whooing ] -Whoo-whoo. -Whoo-whoo! -You can you buy it online or have the most awkward
conversation at Yankee Candle. [ Laughter ] Yeah, women say they like it, while men can’t figure out
how to light it. We have a great show.