-That’s how we do it
in the Nine-Nine, sir: Catch bad guys
and look good doin’ it. [ Upbeat funk plays ] Deputy Commissioner,
if you wanna pick Trevor up, we’ll be at the Nine-Nine. -Team effort. Go Nine-Nine. -You’re part
of the Nine-Nine now. We look after each other. -To the Nine-Nine! -To the Nine-Nine! -Yeah, Boyle, that was
some Superman stuff. -Yeah, you did
the Nine-Nine proud. -No ifs, ands, or butts. Sorry.
It’s just right there. -Buh-Buh-Buh-Back
in the Nine-Nine. [ Cheering and applause ] -In this box
is every grisly crime the Nine-Nine has worked
in the past eight years. Civilians love
juicy cop stories. You didn’t want
the Nine-Nine at your party, even though you’d
never met us. Finally, it is my great pleasure to introduce the Nine-Nine’s
own Detective Scully to serenade you. [ Explosion ]
-Needless to say, the Nine-Nine has never had
a perfect run. -That’s right.
Yeah, man. -The Nine-Nine is
in the village. -Nine-Nine! -Here we go, Nine-Nine! -Back in the
Nine-Nine! -Woooo! Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake! -[Grunts] [ Suspenseful music plays ]
On behalf of the Nine-Nine, I apologize. -Fingers has grabbed
the package. I didn’t mean for that
to sound so dirty. Wait, no, that’s insane.
Tell him it’s Detective Peralta
from the Nine-Nine. -Enjoy this merry season. -Good people of the Nine-Nine. -[tapping] And we are
going to nail it! -I don’t get it.
-Nine-Nine, we are hostages no longer. -Drinks on me! -Shut up! Shut up! He’s here! -Hey, you must be the Nine-Nine. -You’re upset that Terry
would even consider leaving the Nine-Nine.
-Mm. -This is your weird way
of trying to make me stay at the Nine-Nine. -Yeah! That’s how
we do it in the Nine-Nine. We’ve got each other’s backs.
-Damn right! -Charles! -I’m not sure the Nine-Nine
has the resources to deal with something
of this magnitude. -You’re right.
-What’s that, now? -Before I came
to the Nine-Nine — Oh, no.
-Say goodbye to the Nine-Nine, Raymond. -Okay, Nine-Nine. -I’m being forced
out of the Nine-Nine. I’m leaving the Nine-Nine
effective immediately. -What the hell?
-I don’t understand. -What the hell?
-Why are you doing this? -What the hell?! -I’ll turn this place around, just like I did the Nine-Nine. -First time back in the Nine-Nine.
-Mm. -PR is so boring. I need some Nine-Nine
drama, stat. -I don’t think we’re
that dramatic. -Because the Nine-Nine was Capt. Dozerman’s last precinct, you will be seated
at the front of the funeral. -It’s great to see you back
at the Nine-Nine, sir. -Until this morning,
some small part of me still believed
I would be captain of the Nine-Nine again. What a fool I was. I love the Nine-Nine and I’m not
gonna turn my back on the squad. Mine was to run the Nine-Nine and that will never
happen again. This year’s the tiebreaker, a final heist to decide, once and for all, the true king of the Nine-Nine. Whoever has the crown will be
the king of the Nine-Nine. -Amy Santiago.
[ Cheering and applause ] The… -Queen!
-queen of the Nine-Nine. [whispering]
Just slowly back up. There’s a door behind us.
We just have to get outside and call the Nine-Nine.
Charles, did you call this in
to Dispatch? -Yes, but I can’t get in touch with anyone from the Nine-Nine.
-Right. -Excuse me. Sgt. Jeffords
with the Nine-Nine. [ Ding ]
That’s right, Nine-Nine. -Well, you didn’t seem
to mind me helping you when I got you your job back
at the Nine-Nine. Ain’t no thang.
-No, it is a thang. And an even bigger thang is that you brought me back
to the Nine-Nine, and I’ll always be
grateful for that. This might be
the biggest drug case the Nine-Nine’s had in years! -Good afternoon, sir.
I’m Det. Charles Boyle of the —
-From the Nine-Nine. The Nine-Nine. -I figured out the best way to welcome Pimento
to the Nine-Nine. -Welcome to the Nine-Nine. I’m Captain Raymond Holt. -Welcome to the Nine-Nine. I’m Captain Raymond Holt. -And I’m Det. Rosa Diaz. -Goodbye, Nine-Nine. -Discreetly, Jacob. -There’s an article about the
Nine-Nine’s monthly crime rate. Those numbers aren’t supposed
to be public until next week! -Terry, you’re gonna have
to be more interesting, if you wanna get an “Oh, dang.” -There’s a leak
[whispering] in the Nine-Nine! -Oh, dang! -We should call
the Nine-Nine for backup. -Oh, absolutely not.
-Are you worried? Do we need
to call the Nine-Nine? We need to call the Nine-Nine so they can sort this out
with the sheriff. -No. They would wanna
get involved, and that could endanger them. -They’d be okay with that. -The Nine-Nine.
-The Nine-Nine. -We should be laying low
until the Nine-Nine gets here. -Yeah, but we don’t know
when that’s gonna be and we need food and supplies. Let’s plan an ambush. Chills, you guys. Literally, chills. -I’m sorry I’m not reciprocating
with hot goss of my own. I’m just worried
about the Nine-Nine. -Sir, they’re gonna be fine. -I’m always happy to be here. I’m gonna keep doin’ it
until you guys chime in. [ Blowing and imitating
air horns ] -If I don’t make it,
tell Jean I love her! -What’s up, Nine-Nine?! [whispering] He’s gonna transfer
out of the Nine-Nine. [ Water burbling ]
-Ugh. Guess we gotta get back to the Nine-Nine. -Thank you for joining me
for what promises to be the diggity dopest tree lighting
in the history of the Nine-Nine. -The Nine-Nine.
Welcome back to the Nine-Nine text chain. -Yes! We should call it
the Nine-Nine party line. I’ll rename the thread.
-Charles! -Sorry. I’ll be better.
I’ll be better! -But, should we talk
about how efficient and well-run the Nine-Nine
is for a while? -We got plenty of time for that. -I know accepting Teddy’s
jazz brunch invite was the only way
to get his phone back and save the Nine-Nine, but, this place is literally hell. -Hello, Nine-Nine! I’m Lieutenant Hopkins. [whispering] I’m shutting
the Nine-Nine down and there is nothing
you can do about it. [ Laughing delightedly ] I’ll be evaluating the Nine-Nine and sending my findings
to the deputy commissioner. -Strike up a little convo
about the Nine-Nine. -That seems rather underhanded.
-Desperate times call for desperate housewives.
-What? -I love the Nine-Nine and the main reason why is you. -But we’re the Nine-Nine! We have Rosa and Charles, Gina, Amy, and Terry. And Carl! -It’s Mark.
-I always knew I was the best cop in the Nine-Nine and, now, there’s proof. -This just became
a giant drug case! -We could save the Nine-Nine!
-We could save the Nine-Nine! -There’s no way
they close the Nine-Nine. -Mr. Nine-Nine! -Why are you putting a gun
in your mouth? -Well, aside from the fact that
the Nine-Nine’s hearing is in four hours and we’re
definitely getting shut down. -There’s still a chance
we could save the Nine-Nine. -What are you talking about?
-Mr. Nine-Nine out! -The Nine-Nine’s
gonna get shut down. -Congratulations, Mr. Nine-Nine. -To the Nine-Nine! -We’re not gonna give up yet,
’cause we’re the Nine-Nine! We’re gonna take matters
into our own hands, Nine-Nine-style! That’s right, my friends: the Nine-Nine
is throwing a big — Can I borrow $200 for alcohol?
-Mm-hmm. -The Nine-Nine
is throwin’ a party! -Now, when people think
of the Nine-Nine, they’ll think of, um, oh, Det. Diaz filling
an iron with tequila. -So I could make tequila steam. -I can’t remember the last time I saw the Nine-Nine so happy. -Foot’s all floppy.
-Great. Let’s get ’em back
to the Nine-Nine, see if Floppy Foot
and his friend know where our man’s hiding. -Let’s do this! Nine-Nine! -You are not a police officer. You’re not part of this mission.
-Right. -See? When the Nine-Nine
puts our brains together, we can achieve anything.
Hey, we should team up and rob banks for real! -You should stop talkin’
in the hallway. -Yeah, copy that.
-The Nine-Nine. -The Nine-Nine.
-Please give a warm Nine-Nine welcome to Jake Peralta and Rosa Diaz! -Attention, Nine-Nine! We have an announcement. -“Shrek Live” is comin’
back to Broadway! -Nope. You dreamed that.
-Ah! -Thank you for having me
at the Nine-Nine. -The first thing
that you taught me when you came to the Nine-Nine is that we’re a team. We’ll figure it out. -Grand exit from the Nine-Nine. -Who said…?
-I’m not sure. -Look, we know
you want your daughter to be proud
of the work that you do. I just hope you know
how important you’ve been to the Nine-Nine.
-And I loved the Nine-Nine, you guys. It just feels like it’s time
for me to like build something of my own. -Tell me what I’ve been
missing at the Nine-Nine. Get him back.
Let me just call the Nine-Nine. -Say hello to the Nine-Nine’s brand-new, fully loaded, sweet as hell
crime crusher on wheels! -Sgt. Santiago,
commander of the Nine-Nine’s uniformed officers,
reporting for duty. [ Applause ]
-Aye! -You guys, gimme that juicy Nine-Nine goss! Am I right? -When I first got
to the Nine-Nine, I was a little intimated by you. -Good.
-Have a safe flight and I’ll see ya back
at the Nine-Nine. -The Nine-Nine.
-Was Kelly pissed? -Very much so.
To retaliate, he closed the bottom floor of
the Nine-Nine for renovations. The Nine-Nine is at war
with the NYPD. The commissioner’s trying to drum up a scandal
in the Nine-Nine. -We were the studs
of the Nine-Nine. -Well, I’m sure “studs”
is a bit of a — Oh, my god!
-I have some real fun ideas about new ways to spice up
life at the Nine-Nine. -Alright, Charles,
you can bring everyone out! The Nine-Nine is here. -These are from the old studs
of the Nine-Nine. -The Nine-Nine.
-The Nine-Nine. -The Nine-Nine. I’ve decided to leave the Nine-Nine. -I can’t imagine
the Nine-Nine without you. -You’re leaving the Nine-Nine
without a clear plan? It’s reckless. -Hello, Nine-Nine. I just wanted to thank you guys. -‘Cause the Nine-Nine’s
about to bring the real heat. -Get ready for the backdraft! Bitch!
-All the times Terry’s yelled “Nine-Nine!” -I hate it when he says that. -Stefano almost never
comes out in public. It would be a huge collar
for the Nine-Nine. Whaddya say, Sarge?
100,000 pushups. And he’s here to infiltrate
the Nine-Nine. -I just want him
out of the Nine-Nine. -What’s all this about? -Captain Holt and the Nine-Nine. -[crying] Put in my transfer
for the Nine-Nine. -Hey, Camila,
did you know that Amy is the youngest female sergeant
in the history of the Nine-Nine? -Yes!
I’m very proud of her. I’m proud of all my children. -Ames, I love you,
but I can’t talk right now. -I just got an alert that the
Nine-Nine is on lockdown! -This says there’s
not enough money in the Nine-Nine’s budget for my raise!
-What does that mean? -They’re gonna transfer me!
-They just sorta grabbed whatever and yanked.
-Title of your sex tape. Oh, that’s just something
we say back at the Nine-Nine. -The Nine-Nine. -Damn, Luke. That was fast. You will always be part
of the Nine-Nine. -The Nine-Nine. For this and all future Nine-Nine missions, which I’ll definitely be
a part of. -Everybody say “Nine-Nine!” -Nine-Nine!
-Mm.