Hey everybody it’s Tuesday, and that means that I’m on tumblr answering your questions, so if you ask them using the hashtag KatiFAQ I look through a lot of them and I have four as well as a journal topic today, and the journal topic’s pretty good so you might wanna stay tuned for it. and if you haven’t suscribed to my channel, since I have videos coming out all the time, you might wanna subscribe, okay, so click and subscribe, and also, don’t forget to add me on Google+ I keep forgetting to mention that, and some people still, when you leave comments if you wonder why “Hey Kati doesn’t reply to mine,” it’s ’cause I can’t unless you add me to your circles, I believe that’s what it’s called, okay? Question #1. “You’ve talked about how it’s ‘normal’ to feel worse as you’re starting recovery, this makes sense and this is true, however, Is it common to start to get worse feeling even after you’ve been in recovery, say for a year and a half? I recently feel like my emotions have turned back on all of a sudden and I’m confused as to why now, almost a year and a half later.” This is very common, and most of my clients, I’ll just explain kind of why I think it happens, and then obviously for any of you who have had this experience can always shared how it has worked for you, and just, you know, reference question #1 so this person can find it. But oftentimes because we use our eating disorders, or coping skill, we’re trying out new coping skills while at the same time not using our eating disorder and it gets worse at the beginning, right? because, we don’t always perfected those other coping skills, and we’re not completely managing our emotions, so our eating disorder gets worse, right? until we get used to using something else. And then, as we get used to using something else, it can flair up from time to time, because #1 we get kind of comfortable in our recovery, and we stop actively working on it. And things could get a little stressful or something will happen, and it flairs up, And then we’re like, “Holy shit I thought I was done with this!” So that’s kind of why it happens, or if it’s not even during a stressful time it can be because we’re not using our tools. And so what I would encourage any of you to do if you’ve been in recovery for a long time and you’re feeling really good about it, Is to make sure you’re still making time for yourself each week. It doesn’t matter if it’s 20 minutes, of an hour and a half or whatever, but make time to check in with yourself, see how you’re doing, it’s something even I do, so it’s not something we have to just because we’re struggling, It’s just something that we should get in the habit of doing in general, because it’s just good self care. So take time out, notice if you’re using your tools and if you’re using things that are positive and recharging for you, or if you’re not, because I really think if you spend some time you’ll start to realize maybe you were neglecting yourself a little bit, and so to get back in the rhythm of using our tools and our coping skills and I promise you’ll start to feel better, okay? Question #2. “Hey Kati, the past few days I’ve been isolating myself from everyone, especially my family. My therapist says it’s okay to do and it’s okay to be angry and that it’s a part of therapy. I don’t quite understand it, I’m scared I’m falling into depression again.” This one I wanted to answer because my first instinct was “What the hell is your therapist talking about?!” But I hate calling out people and being like “they’re not doing their job” because they’re trying really hard, and I don’t know your whole situation. But isolating is not a good thing, and like I was talking about in a question before this, sometimes when we start working on stuff it can get worse at first. our depression can get a little worse, and things can get revved up, and when things are stressful that can happen. But if you’re isolating, you’re lashing out at people in your life, and it’s proving to be harmful, and you’re afraid you’re slipping back in depression, I would express that, and say: “Well I don’t care if this is normal or not, this is not something I want to have to deal with, what else can we do?” And at that point, I mean it’s your therapy, it’s your treatment, you deserve to get better, and if you’re not feeling better, and they’re telling you “Hey , no this is normal, you should just deal” Then maybe you should find another therapist. ‘Cause, I get the fact that sometimes things get worse before they get better, but, we gotta give you a little support, or something, we can’t just be like “This is just normal, just deal!” So I would assert yourself in therapy and say: “You know, I understand this might be a normal thing but I can’t deal with it, I don’t wanna have to go through this, I feel like I’m slipping back in my depression.” Just be honest. Share what you shared with me, and if they’re not gonna be helpful and supportive, then see if you can find someone else, okay? Question #3. “#KatiFAQ I feel like a faliure at recovery, because everyone else does intuitive eating and I don’t think that I’ll ever be ready for that. What if I never am? People keep telling me that I should do it, but I just don’t want to, and I think that I will relapse if I try.” It’s hard. And we can be scared that we’re gonna relapse, but, everything that’s worth doing is taking a risk, right? Me putting out these videos is a huge risk, people could’ve been really mean, and sometimes they are but who cares right? But the biggest risk is the biggest reward. And yes you may relapse at first it may push you into binging I’ve had clients who, if you struggle with binging and purging in the past when you first do intuitive eating, you may overeat a little bit. And you’ll notice, and it’ll be triggering, but we have to challenge that, because otherwise we can never be free from our meal plan and free from dietitians, and therapists, and all that stuff intuitive eating is just getting you back in touch with your body and as silly as it sounds, it can really help in your recovery, long term. It helps with body image because when you’re more in touch with your body you’re listening to it when it tells you you’re hungry and you’re stopping when it tells you it’s full and you’re just learning sometimes I overeat, sometimes I go longer between eating than I should and then I’m like “Ahh! I’m gonna kill somebody for some food!!” Right? We all do that, and you are-when you’re in recovery it’s something we’re gonna have to learn. I know it’s scary, I know it’s really hard but take your time with it, do it a little bit when you have people around you you can trust or supportive and do it around more of your ‘safer foods’ at first and we’ll slowly work into it. You don’t have to just jump into it and do it full force just give it a go, and start talking it out what that would mean and maybe even journaling, if I underate how would I feel about that? What would I tell myself about that? And how would I make up for it? Like, if I’m supposed to be eating a certain amount and I find I’m not eating enough, would I add in a snack? What would that look like? If I overate, how would I feel, what would I do? Start talking yourself through it so you’re a little bit more emotionally prepared for when you actually do it, okay? I hope that helps. And for any of you who are in intuitive eating, leave your tips and tricks below too, okay? Question #4. “Is it normal that I keep binge eating during my eating disorder recovery?” Yes, this is very common. Especially when we’re working on intuitive eating. That’s kind of why I put these together, because people will often binge eat, especially once we’re given ‘permission’ It sounds silly, but when other people like your therapist say “No it’s okay, if you want that cookie you have that cookie, if you want to order a cheeseburger and french fries, you can have that just notice when you’re hungry, notice when you’re full.” And we’re talking you through it, right? And you had all these restrictions and it’s almost like we were like dead broke, okay and then someone gives us like 4 million dollars and they’re like “you know, just notice what you need, and get what you need.” We might go crazy a little bit at first, we might go a little overboard. And we’ll feel overly full I want you to notice when you’re doing that notice what kinds of food it is I want you to journal about this I want you to journal about when you’re doing it more are their certain foods you tend to binge on more? How do you feel afterwards? Are you doing any compensatory behaviors? Are you purging, are you exercising, are you using laxatives? Are you having the urges to do that? And then how do you calm yourself back down, and what do we learn from it? So should I maybe’ve stopped 3 bites back? Sometimes if I feel like I’ve overeaten I think to myself you know maybe I shouldn’tve had that other slice of pizza like I had those ones I had before, but that last one, I think was too much and that’s why I’m too full. Start thinking about it, and noticing and you’ll really learn as you work on it and you’ll get better at intuitive eating, and you’ll find the urge to binge less because it’s not like all of a sudden you have permission. Know you have permission for the rest of your life To eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full and eat what you want. So, it’s just-it just takes some time. It takes some time for our mind to get used to it, for our body to get used to it. So know that that is completely normal. Okay now the journal topic today, I’m a huge fan of Bones, I like any kind of show that’s like crime-solving mystery. and last week on Bones they were looking into a person who died who was murdered who was a musician. And at the end, I think it was Seeley Booth who said- and I really like this, I wrote it down, it says: “Sometimes we just have to dance to the music we were given.” And I really like that because sometimes things don’t turn out exactly as we planned in all honesty nothing ever turns out exactly as we planned. You can’t plan life, right, it just happens. And then he says, “and you may end up dancing a lot slower than you thought.” And I really like that because sometimes we think “We gotta go! I gotta get to this! I gotta recovered! I gotta get my license, this has to happen now! and I want this to be the way that it goes out, and like how things happen in my life but we don’t get to choose that, and it might be a lot slower than we thought. It’s a process, it’s not perfection. So keep at it, keep dancing, even if it’s slow dancing even if you thought you were gonna jam it out, be patient with yourself, take time. Okay. I love you all! Tomorrow is Wednesday and I’ll be on the website and Youtube so ask your questions below and ask them on the website under community forums Q&A for videos and I’ll see you then, bye! Subtitles by the Amara.org community