Look at the outside of this man Look at his physical appearance Look into this man’s heart Look into his soul Now look more deeply I feel this emptiness inside me everytime I look in the mirror The impulse I want to do is just punch that mirror because I can see my fucking parents in the background Just staring at me and doing nothing as I’ve gone through this my entire fucking life. And I wanna scream, ‘What the fuck is your problem?!’ ‘Where were you?!’ ‘Why did you leave me here?!’ Conversion Therapy is a set of dangerous and totally discredited practices that attempt to change the sexual orientation or gender identity of a person. They are often practiced by licensed mental health professionals, also sometimes unlicensed councilors, religious leaders, sometimes just in church basements. And they most often target kids – under 18 – and these people give them what they claim is a solution what is actually does, is, it supports an industry that is profiting off the harm and sometimes death of kids. And to one degree or another, conversion therapy is happening in every state in the country. What is your greatest fear this weekend? Of letting people down and myself What is your greatest fear this weekend? My greatest fear Just not being present, and not being here, doing what God wants me to do What is your greatest fear this weekend? My greatest fear is that I will leave without having touched someone else’s life. What is your greatest fear this weekend? My greatest fear this weekend is letting you down Thank you. See the next man Everyone is heterosexual, the idea that some people are naturally homosexual or naturally gay is just a social construct So, when you have an individual who has same sex attraction, we see it as something went wrong developmentally and we try to resolve the issue and put them back on the path towards their natural heterosexuality That’s the philosophy of it. My name is Joseph Nicolosi, I’m a clinical psychologist a licensed clinical psychologist and I’m the founder of Reparative Therapy The concepts and principles of Reparative Therapy is something I have developed over 30 years and 4 books and many, many articles Journey into Manhood came into existence based upon the Reparative Therapy model So, the basic principles of Reparative Therapy were taken and turned into a weekend experience We’re doing a 32 man circle so that we have the appropriate size space to work with for our rehearsals So, we need more here, we got 6, we need 8. Our organization, People Can Change, is there for the man who voluntarily wants to experience some diminishment in his unwanted same sex attraction and Journey into Manhood is a weekend program that we offer to help build that understanding and that opportunity for men who want to choose that path. We have no interest in telling people who are happy being gay that they should change or that there’s anything wrong with them or whatever; that’s not our mission that’s not what we believe. But we do believe that men who are uncomfortable with their homosexuality should have opportunities to understand it and try to diminish it to the extent that that’s possible for them. OK. Now this a rehearsal, now we’re gonna start off working through the kinks of the process itself. Thank you so much, men, for you’re willing to serve. I’d like all of you to put your hands in your lap. Put your feet flat on the floor. Feel the power of the Earth coming up into your body. Close your eyes. Take a moment to breathe. Breathe in your nose and out your mouth Yeah. The staff wear a pouch of magic seeds, so it represents Jack’s the seeds that were planted in the, in the Jack story, Jack and the Beanstalk And, the potential for creativity and growth, and empowerment that the seeds represent, so, once the journey-ers go through the weekend, they receive this as a token of their experience. And, interestingly, as an aside, in the Jack and the Giantslayer movie I was pleased to see that Jack carries his magic seeds around his neck in a little pouch which was 10 years or more after we started doing it, it’s interesting Music cue. Good. Stop. Go back to the beginning. Music cue. Perfect! OK. Go. The story of Jack and the Amazing Beanstalk (cheering) Yeah. We use a fairytale, a myth, the Jack and the Beanstalk story as a, kind of, a metaphor for every boy’s growth into manhood – And I’ll give you these seeds. We borrowed some of the interpretation of it from Michael Gurian’s book ‘The Wonder of Boys’ as he talks about and uses it as a model of how this boy Jack is strange from his mother a little bit as he goes off and experiences his masculinity. – Look at it! A phallus symbol. – So, the beanstalk is a big penis? He gets challenged and faces – Biggest, baddest, meanest! a giant which represents his shadow and that he finds gold which represents the golden hymm. (?) call it a hero’s journey. So every boy’s growth into manhood, in some ways, is a hero’s journey as he battles his shadows and embraces his gold. next is, facing the shadow B9 shadow guy some of the staff, we break them into specific roles roles to help to bring out different aspects of a man roles that help men sort of look in the mirror, at their own life and understand themselves in relationship to the world of masculinity (?) see yourself as jack…. running from the giant imagining, pushing through the wall, through your wall of fear and shame So I did my first journey into manhood weekend back into 2007 it is probably the most impactful weekend of ever that went on in my entire life I was never, what our society calls, gay, or homosexual, or whatever label we put on it, I am simply a man. if anything I would always consider myself a heterosexual man, just with a lot of uhmm.. issues let’s start with Jerry. He knows this process. You guys watch Jerry as he …us I feel anger! and I feel this emptiness inside me, everytime I look into the mirror the impulse I want to do is just punch that mirror, because I can see my fucking parents in the background.. just staring at me and doing nothing , as I have gone through this my entire fucking life and I want to scream: what the fuck!..is your problem! where were you why did you leave me here? the goal that we can journey into manhood is to find we are on that journey, a step was taken off, so that you can find your way back on to it I felt so empty when I tried to live the lifestyle, it did not feel right I wanted to be a husband, I wanted to be a father, I wanted to be true to that and I wanted to be true to God for me personally what was missing was a father figure someone’s gonna be standing out there someone is gonna be standing out there and uhh as soon we big enough groups the camp.. will take them up here really? yu.. you’ve got this all set up? yeah beautiful thank you rich actually stops my weekend and that was my first time meeting him and i looked up to him very much because he started this organization that’s helped two thousand man