(mellow jazz music) (wine splashes) – I’m Grant, and I drink wine with dinner. – My name is Tad and I am a sommelier. – My name is Michele
and I am a master somm. (plunking) (mellow jazz music) – Thank you.
Yeah, okay. Okay, the aromas are a definitely very mature fruit flavor. Mm, mm-hmm. Yeah, it’s definitely a 1998 Bordeaux. (bell rings) (sniffing) – 1998 Bordeaux, left bank from Graves. (bell rings)
Next. (slurping) – Probably some kind of red wine. – Yeah? – Yeah!
– Oh! Hey, oh I’m good at this! (bell rings) – Wonderful, thank you. – Okay, let’s see, two for two. (sniffing) – Definitely an earthy aroma. – This glass is warm. (sniffs) – Mm hmm. – Mm, oh, hints of peanut butter and… Okay, don’t tell me, pad thai. – This could be the dog shit. Or an old earth wine. – See about that. (mellow jazz music) This is really dog shit. What — what the fuck? I thought you were kidding. Is this fresh? I’m not fucking drinking this! (slurping) – Yeah, wow, wow, I wanted
to take my time with that. Really get some flavor in there. (slurping) – Hmm, chalky minerality to it. Probably the dog shit. Potentially an old dog. – God, that’s gorgeous. – What, you just held a wine
glass under your dog’s butt. So, this is shit from a street dog. (coughing and gagging) (gargling) – Yeah, yeah, mm-hmm. – Fuck.
Who fucking green lit this? – This would go perfectly
with a red snapper, tilapia if you’re poor, if it didn’t have dog shit. I am confident in saying I
think this is a pinot grigio with dog shit. (bell rings) – Final conclusion, 2016
pinot grigio from Loir Valley with feces from a 12-year-old vizsla, who’s diet consists mainly of hummus. (bell rings) – You’re gonna hear from my lawyer, get this fucking microphone off of me! – All right, oh yes.
(laughs) How’d I do? The photos look okay, yeah? Thank you, thank you for having me. – Can I get some real wine? Wine is wine. (slurping and gulping) – I do.